It Just Doesn't Matter

A few months ago my yoga instructor told us about the Bill Murray documentary on Netflix, The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man. Intrigued by her description of his spontaneity, I went home to watch it and found it lived up to the hype. While I enjoyed watching interviewees attempt to explain their bizarre encounters with the famous actor, my absolute favorite moment was when an interviewee told a Taoist anecdote about a farmer.

In the story a farmer's stallion wins a prize at a show. When his neighbors congratulate him, the farmer replies, "Who knows what's good and what's bad?" Later, the stallion is stolen by a group of thieves. When his neighbors offer condolences, the farmer replies with the same words: "Who knows what's good and what's bad?" Several days later, the stolen stallion returns to the farm with a pack of wild mares. Now the neighbors congratulate the farmer once more. Yet again, the farmer replies, "Who knows what's good and what's bad?"

You get the idea. The tale goes on and on like this, flip-flopping between unexpected outcomes. The idea is that life ebbs and flows between "good" and "bad." Humans try to separate life events into arbitrary ideas of good and bad, but truly, we never know how life will play out, so it just doesn’t matter. It's important to clarify that this story isn't referring to knowing the difference between moral and immoral decisions, but rather understanding the circumstances of our decisions. The anecdote was included to explain Murray's philosophy that drove his outgoing and spontaneous shenanigans.

During the documentary I kept thinking about the email in my inbox. It was an application for the Greensboro English Speaking Union's Teachers Learning Abroad scholarship. My husband had forwarded it to me, writing something along the lines of, "You should apply for this." This was a multi-tiered process, but it seemed like a dream opportunity. I could potentially learn how to Teach Shakespeare Through Performance at the Globe Theatre in London, England! That's a dream for almost any English teacher! Applying would take some time, and at the moment, most of my time was consumed with working on National Board portfolios. What if I spent all this time applying and interviewing only to not be selected?

The Bill Murray documentary helped me see it just doesn't matter. I immediately started my application after watching it. If I ended up not getting chosen for the scholarship, then, "Who knows what's good and what's bad?" We just never know.

Turns out, my time did pay off, and I did receive the scholarship! I leave for London on Wednesday, July 10th to participate at the Globe's workshop for three weeks this summer! Sure, sure, I do need to remember the headspace I was in as I applied for this: "Who knows what's bad and what's good?" I may not know what's bad or good, but I do know I'm really excited!

I hope to use this space to share updates about trip details, including workshop findings and London gems! In the meantime, you'll find me taking more chances in the ebb and flow of life.